Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Horror for the Holidays



Every late November I settle down with a chunk of anti-Christmas movies to get my mind in gear for the onslaught of holiday saccharine about to strike. Below is a list - in no particular order - of the best way to slash away that X-mas glee and get your jollies from blood-soaked stockings hanging on the mantel...



Black Christmas (1974)
Stars a slew of ladies and gents who would go on to relatively long and popular careers including Olivia Hussey (IT), Margot Kidder (Superman), Andrea Martin (My Big Fat Greek Wedding), John Saxon (A Nightmare on Elm Street), Art Hindle (Invasion of the Body Snatchers), Keir Dullea (2001), Marian Waldman (A Christmas Story). The first true slasher film. Sorority girls are stalked the night of their x-mas party by an unseen killer. Sounds typical, but remember this was the first of its style and is done very respectably. Some great tension.

Gremlins (1984)
Cute little critters turn into nasty little buggers as they wreck havoc on a small town on Christmas eve.

Home for the Holidays (1972)
Based on the classic Agatha Christie story "10 Little Indians," group of sisters gather when their father insists their step-mother is trying to kill him. Problem is they're all getting whacked instead. Stars a young Sally Field.

Silent Night, Deadly Night
(1984)
Boy abused by a wicked nun after witnessing his parents murder by a man dressed as Santa grows up to believe Santa "punishes" naughty people with death. In hind-sight not the best of movies, but worth the watch for its notoriety. Plus it features Scream Queen Linnea Quigley in one of her signature roles.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 2
(1987)
I'm not exaggerating when I say there's only 30 minutes of new footage here (with the younger brother of Part 1 now seeking revenge on the evil nun), as the rest is filled with "flashback" footage. But the new scenes are filled with high camp and outrageous kills. Just flash-forward for a quick viewing night.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: You Better Watch Out
(1989)
Very tame compared to the earlier films, this one plays more like Wait Until Dark (1968) as a blind woman is stalked by the second film's killer after she becomes psychically linked to him. Not too scary or campy, but has some decent suspense.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation
(1990)
Likely to go down as one of the most bizarre films in history, this one follows a reporter who gets involved with a group of lesbian Lilith (Adam's wife before Eve) worshipers. Their combined powers can create spontaneous combustion and slimy, giant bugs that writhe under their victim's skin. Thoroughly gross but weird enough to hold your attention.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker
(1991)
Reporter from previous film has a friend whose child becomes the target of a toymaker with an "odd" son of his own. Similar to the PUPPET MASTER films, and featuring Mickey Rooney - who ironically protested the original film. Actually the best of the series.

Tales From the Darkside: The Grither (1986) (TV)
Creepy 30 minutes as parents tell their spoiled children of a monster that only comes out on Christmas Eve to punish naughty children.

Jack Frost (1997)
Not the happy family film, but an earlier film that finds a town terrorized - humorously - by a killer snowman. One of Shannon Elizabeth's (American Pie) first films. Campy and fun.

Tales from the Crypt: "And All Through The House" (1989) (TV)
A remake segment from the 1972 feature film. Wife planning her husband's murder is unaware a killer Santa has escaped the looney bin and has his own bloody axe to grind. Scared the crap out of me as a teen!

Deadly Dreams (1989)
Low budget but decent psycho shocker about a guy who keeps dreaming back to his parents Christmas Eve murders.

The Shining
(1980)
Technically not a holiday film, but its snow caped landscape and final wintry chase certainly gives good reason to watch on a chilly night.

Terror Train
(1979)
New Year's Eve celebration among college kids becomes a bloody nightmare as - among the costumed guests - lurks a killer out to avenge a prank gone wrong years earlier. One of Jamie Lee Curtis's best and has several scary bits.


A few Holiday Horrors to AVOID...

While She Was Out (2008)

Santa Claws
(1996)

Black X-Mas (2006)

Don't Open 'Til X-mas
(1984)

Christmas Evil (1980)

Jack Frost 2 (2000)


By no means is this a complete list. These are only the titles I have actually seen. For a more detailed list of items try going here...

Thursday, October 28, 2010

DANGER Ms. Kleefisch!!!


Friends and Family,

Most folks know I'm not very political. They also know I'm usually pretty opposed to (and annoyed with) sending out political messages So the fact that I'm doing this I hope shows you this is something I desperately need you to know.

Please take into consideration, if you're voting in Wisconsin next week, the dangers Rep. LT. Gov candidate Rebecca Kleefisch poses to people like me and Mike. Verbatim, regarding Domestic Partnership, Kleefisch has just said on air "...at what point are we going to OK marrying inanimate objects? Can I marry this table, or this, you know, clock? Can we marry dogs? This is ridiculous."

I listened to it myself for facts before posting this. Her comments are not taken out of context. She completely dehumanized people like us. Please think of me and Mike when making your voting decisions. We are celebrating 1 year as Domestic Partners Dec 29th, and 6 years as a couple that same day.

- Jason

P.S. I'll return to blogging more entertaining fare soon. ;-)

Monday, August 9, 2010

The List - Part I: Horror

So, first and foremost, apologies for the long delay in a post... just realized I never finished the last one about my severe addiction to "sequelitis." I promise to go back and complete that at some point. In the meantime, thought I'd answer the question most posed to me: “What are your favorite movies?”

Now, this is a subject which took a lot more thought than I’d originally anticipated. You see, I love A LOT of movies. I have well over 2,000 VHS and DVDs in my “red room,” as it’s so adoringly referred to by friends and family. And, yes, the bulk of them are horror related. In trying to narrow the list down, however, I decided on this main criteria: First, have I felt a need to watch a particular title in the last 12 months? Second, does this film simply entertain me, or does it actually make me feel something while I watch it, either because it connects me to a memory from my past, or there’s simply something about the story which just continues to resonate with me even after I’ve watched over 50 times (Yes, I have some select titles I can recite word for word... I think I’m actually up near 75 + viewings of Carrie).

I’m not giving "reviews" to most of these films – since I obviously enjoy them enough to include them. Only a very brief synopsis of each title will be written. My tastes are fairly broad in these categories: horror, comedy, drama, musical, kids, action. As such, you’ll find serious and not-so-serious. Extreme gore to mild suspense. Cartoons to live action. Sappy tear jerkers to classic high drama and even some camp. Films are gathered by genre, so skip to the ones you think you might want to seek out for yourself. You might be surprised at the titles I didn’t include!!! I'll do this over the course of several posts over the next few weeks. Today is horror - not a shock to most - but you might be surprised which titles make my lists in other categories as well in coming weeks.

Enjoy.

HORROR/SUSPENSE

Alice, Sweet Alice (1976)

10 year old Brooke Shields gets roasted, literally, in her film debut. Her sister Alice, a bit off center, is accused of the crime, but their father will go to any length to prove she’s innocent. Some genuine shocks and suspense and effective knife attacks.

American Gothic (1988)

Young mentally ill woman, riddled with guilt over the death of her infant son, is stranded on an uncharted island with her friends. They discover the island houses a family of adult loonies who all believe they are still children in the 1930s thanks to their equally deranged “parents” Yvonne DeCarlo and Rod Steiger.

Amityville II: The Possession (1982)

Prequel to The Amityville Horror (1979) tells of the true life DeFeo family whose murders by the eldest son are said to be the reason for the home’s demonic nature. Genuinely creepy with some unsettling moments and outrageous special effects. The slaughter of the family sticks with you for a few days after seeing it.

The Bad Seed (1956)

Evil 8 year old Rhoda Penmark is believed to be a little murderess, offing anyone who stands in her way of receiving a penmanship medal from her second grade class. You think you see more than you really do. Overly dramatic at times, but somehow forgivable considering the weight and the eeriness of the events at hand.

The Birds (1963)

Hitchcock classic isn’t as much about the birds attacking a coastal town as it is about the regular Joes inhabiting it. Much in the way of family drama as the township comes to believe Tippi Hendren is the supernatural cause of the attacks, while she simply tries to battle her new beaus possessive mother.

Black Christmas (1974)

The original slasher film. Group of sorority sisters spending the holiday on campus get off’ed in wicked ways by an unseen killer obsessed with making deliciously perverted phone calls just before he strikes. Extremely stylish and much more tasteful thank you’d expect.

The Blob (1958)

Steve McQueen career launcher as he battles a giant scoop of red jello from outerspace trying to devour the entire town. Has a lot of cheesiness these days, but still manages, somehow, to keep its paranoia (“they’re coming to get you”) the center of what holds your attention. Try to not be nervous during the grocery store and diner attacks.

Body Snatchers: The Invasion Continues (1993)

A semi-sequel to the 1978 remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, this finds a military base overrun by pod people consuming the bodies of humans and taking on their soulless identities. A consistent level of suspense and a style that always, visually, seems to make you feel a bit nauseated. Plus some really good moments of genuine gasp and hold-your-breath scares.

Candyman (1992)

Grad student researching urban legends runs afoul of one that just happens to be true. People in Chicago’s Cabrini Green believe in the ghost of a slain black man who returns to enact revenge when his name is said into the mirror 5 times. Think Bloody Mary.

Carrie (1976)

Only my all-time favorite movie. Began the ‘nerdy teen gets ultimate revenge’ genre. Tormented high school geek is tricked into attending a prom meant to humiliate her. What they don’t know is that she’s learning how to use her telekinetic powers. Her revenge is quite possibly the best ever put on film.

Child’s Play (1988)

Child’s doll in the vein of Teddy Ruxpin comes to life when it’s possessed by the soul of a serial killer. Still throws some seriously scary punches.

Bride of Chucky (1998) (a.k.a Child’s Play 4)

Taking its cue from the self-acknowledging trend beget by Scream, Chucky the killer dolls is now an anti-hero, throwing wise cracks in the best Freddy Kruger imitation... but does it quite well. After he’s brought back to life by an old girlfriend, Chucky kills her, puts her soul into a bridal doll, and they begin a new mass murder spree trying to put their souls back into love struck teenage couple Katherine Heigel and Jason Ritter.

Children of the Corn (1984)

Young couple discovers a Nebraska town where the children have slaughtered all the adults and now live by their own bloody vices.

Class of 1984 (1982)

Eerily accurate of how teenagers would run the high schools in America’s future with guns and violence. Small town teacher moves to an inner-city school where a gang of teens keeps their classmates, including Michael J. Fox, in a constant state of fear.

Cloverfield (2007)

Scarier and bigger budgeted monster-themed version of The Blair Witch Project has the events of a night of terror in New York captured on a camcorder. One of the best screen monsters EVER!

The Craft (1996)

Gaggle of teen girls discover the addition of a 4th girl in their witchery group causes them all to have true magical powers. One of them, however, decides to use her powers for gluttony and poisons the other girls with her course towards pure evil.

Deadly Blessing (1981)

City woman is tormented with nightmarish images after her husband – a former Hitite (i.e. Amish) – is mysteriously killed in an “accident.” Lots of really scary moments. Sharon Stone’s first major film role.

Dolls (1986)

A little girl and her abusive family spend the night waiting out a rain storm in an old castle where all the dolls come to life and do their best to rid the world of evil people.

Dolores Clairborne (1995)

Not really horror but some damned good suspense. A woman stands accused of killing her elderly boss years after she was believed – but never tried – of making her abusive husband “disappear.” Excellent adaptation of Stephen King’s novel.

The Exorcism of Emily Rose (2004)

True story of a priest on the trial for the death of a teen girl whom he claimed he was performing an exorcism on. Splendid in how it argues both sides as to whether or not the girl was indeed possessed.

The Exorcist (1973)

12 year old Linda Blair is possessed by Satan, but the real story here is about a priest’s loss of his own faith. Also based on a true story from 1949 that was well documented in national newspapers and supposedly the Catholic church.

Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977)

Now 17 and smoking hot, Linda Blair again comes up against the demon believed to have possessed her 5 years earlier. Lots of down time with psycho-babble and images of flying through Africa “on the locusts wings,” but the last 20 minutes are some of the most outrageous and destructive put to film, so I forgive it its many faults.

The Exoricst III: Legion (1990)

Loosely based on the original film, the detective who studied Linda Blair’s case now is faced with deciding if a series of gruesome religious-themed murders are connected to the priest presumed dead since Blair tossed him out of her bedroom window in ’73. Again, lots of talking, but its shocks and kills are worth the wait. Features Fabio as an angel... I shit you not!

The Eyes of Laura Mars (1978)

Faye Dunaway does horror good as she portrays a photographer who “sees” through the eyes of a killer every time he strikes. Scariest scene is when Faye suddenly realizes the killer is looking at her from behind!!!

The Fog (1980)

Jamie Lee Curtis, Janet Leigh, Hal Holbrook, Adrienne Barbeau and cast members from Halloween ’78 join forces to battle, or rather simply run, from a mysterious fog consuming a coastal town. Seems some pretty pissed off pirates have returned after 100 years to get revenge on the kin of the men who slaughtered them and stole their gold. Still riddles me with suspense during each viewing.

Friday the 13th (1980)

Group of camp counselors arrive to re-open a long dormant kids camp after it was closed 30 years earlier. Seems the looney who slaughtered sex-starved teens in the 50s has returned determined to keep the place closed forever.

Friday the 13th, Part 2 (1981)

5 years after the original slaughter, teens venture to a counselor training camp ground across the lake ignoring the locals insistence on not returning for fear murders will start up again. Unfortunately for the teens, the locals were right.

Friday the 13th, Part 3 (1982)

Initially intended to carry over the surviving girl of Part 2, this now finds a random teen returning to her family’s cabin where she had been attacked by a mass murderer a year earlier. Guess who pays her and her friends a return visit?

Friday the 13th, Part 4: The Final Chapter (1984)

Local psycho Jason Voorhees returns to life and heads home to hack a series of new nubile teens. Not much different from the earlier films, but possibly the best made of them all with a group of teens you’re actually sad to see get sliced and diced. Stars Corey Feldman as a wee lad with a knack for making scary masks and the balls to take on Voorhees himself.

Friday the 13th, Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)

Yes, I skipped Part V. It was lame. And it features an actress who’s a raging bitch in reality, so now I definitely don’t like it anymore. Onto Part VI... Black comedy fills in for this new chapter as the summer camp is re-opened (really?!) again. So, of course, Jason Voorhees gets pissed off and begins whacking the counselors in very creative – and deliberately funny – fashions. Very self-aware.

Friday the 13th, Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

Not really a good movie at all, but after watching it numerous times it grew on me. Telekinetic teen tries to take on Voorhees after she unintentionally brings him back to life.

Gremlins (1984)

Wicked little critters overrun suburbia on Christmas Eve. Super hot Phoebe Cates and her boyfriend try to stop them as the scary – and yet funny - monsters destroy the town and kill anyone they can.

The Gift (1999)

Filled with southern gothic as psychic Cate Blanchette tries to lead the locals on a hunt for a missing woman’s body. Visuals make you feels like you’re sweating right along with the rest of the cast. Story makes you feel like you can feel the same noose tightening around Cate’s neck as townsfolk begin to treat her like a witch.

Halloween (1978)

Three teen babysitters are stalked by “The Boogeyman” – before he was known as Michael Meyers. His motive is unknown, but the characters are drawn with such joy you truly don’t want them hurt, especially Jamie Lee Curtis in her film debut.

Halloween II (1981)

Picks up literally seconds after the first film, with Jamie Lee Curtis being taken to the hospital, and Michael Meyers en route to finish what he started. We finally learn why he wants her dead.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

Long lambasted for not having anything to do with the previous films, this is more in the vein of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, as an evil warlock plans to overtake the world by possessing all the children through electronic devices in their Halloween masks. Strange but effective once you take make the film stand on its own.

Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later (1998)

Jamie Lee Curtis returns 20 years later to finish what Michael Meyers started. Curtis is now the Head Mistress of a private school and raising her teen son in Northern California. She quickly realizes Meyers has hunted her down not just to kill her, but is aiming for her son as well on his 17th birthday... just as he had killed their sister on her 17th birthday...and tried to kill her on her own 17th birthday... see the trend?

Halloween II (2009) (remake)

Not much of a fan of Rob Zombie’s 2007 remake, and although this was vilified by audiences, I actually liked it. Michael Meyers returns to kill his little sister. Quite possibly the most violent movie I have EVER seen.

Happy Birthday To Me (1981)

Group of popular teens “disappear” as one of their birthdays draws near. As the ad campaign declared, “Six of the most bizarre murders you have ever seen.” Plus it stars Melissa Sue Anderson from Little House on the Prairie.

The Haunting (1963)

Psychics gather to determine if a house is truly haunted as legend persists. Black and white, very gothic and shocking in that all of its scares and suspense are done simply through the use of shadows and sounds.

Hell Night (1981)

Linda Blair and her college co-eds must spend the night in a “haunted” house in order to pledge their franternities/sororities. Sounds common, but it was both original and scary in its day. Plus some excellent chase sequences.

The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

Based on a true story. After their car breaks down, an all-American white bread family must become savages in order to escape a desert filled with a cannibalistic clan.

The House of the Devil (2009)

College girl desperate for money answers a “Babysitter Wanted” ad – only to discover she’ll be watching over an elderly lady in the attic... whom she never actually needs to check in on. Making it stranger, she’s offered $400 for 4 hours of her time. As expected, she soon discovers there’s more going on in the house than was initially thought.

House of Wax (2004)

Friends on a camping trip discover an abandoned town where the only other beings are wax figures. Creepy enough, until you realize where all the original townspeople went.

The House on Sorority Row (1983)

Sorority girls pulling a prank on their wicked house mother soon find themselves trying to cover up her murder. Worse for them, someone saw what happened and is quickly taking their own bloody revenge on the sisterhood.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)

Extremely unsettling remake of the 1950s classic. Humanity is being devoured by an alien species who suck the life out of their hosts, then form perfectly replicated bodies minus emotions. Paranoia runs rampant.

Jack Be Nimble (1992)

Psychic brother and sister, separated as children due to their parents’ lack of caring, find each other 15 years later. Problem is, the brother is hell-bent on revenge for anyone who did either of them wrong in their lives.

Jaws 2 (1978)

Yeah yeah... I like the original Jaws and all, but this one just affected me more and keeps my attention better. Group of teens go against parents wishes (isn’t that how they always get into trouble?) and sail out into the Atlantic, only to be hunted by a giant, very hungry great white shark.

Lady in White (1988)

While locked in his schoolhouse cloakroom on Halloween night, a little boy in the early 1960s watches a ghostly reenactment of a little girl being murdered 10 years earlier. It becomes his mission to discover who killed her and threw her body off a cliff, leading to the suicide of her mother and destruction of her family.

The Last House on the Left (1972)

The first truly violent horror film. Sexual degradation, torture, and murder are how the movie begins before it becomes a wicked exercise in revenge. Two teens killed by a group of escaped prisoners are avenged by their parents.

The Last House on the Left (2009)

Surprisingly potent remake which leaves out the exploitation element of the original, but otherwise sticks fairly close to the original story with a more mainstream polish.

The Little Girls Who Lives Down the Lane (1976)

13 years old Jodie Foster seems to be living on her own all well and good until a bitchy landlord and perverted child molester Martin Sheen begin snooping around to see where her parents might be. Not so much a scary movie, but rather good suspense and an all-around icky feeling.

Maniac Cop 2 (1990)

The 1988 original is a fun film, but this sequel has twice the budget and non-stop action as a police man framed and imprisoned by his fellow dirty cops returns for revenge on anyone he didn’t splatter the first time around.

Mirror Mirror (1990)

River and Joaquin Phoenix’s sister Rainbow stars in this well done take on Carrie. Painfully shy goth girl transfers to a new school only to be tormented daily by the “in” crowd. Quicker than you can say “revenge is better than Christmas,” our anti-heroine finds a supernatural mirror and powers to make the evil kids perish.

My Bloody Valentine (1981)

No, not the modern 3-D version, but the original miner goes on a rampage story. Creepy in its genuinely cold atmosphere and with some especially gruesome deaths and make up FX. Average slasher bumped up a notch by characters you genuinely enjoy and a some good jump-out scares.

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Not only is it a great example of how paranoia affects not only the characters but viewers of the film, but it stars Judith O’Dea as the heroine, “Barbara.” Did I mention Ms. O’Dea has starred in 3 of my films...? Here, it’s not the zombies she has to watch out for so much as the other living people in the farmhouse where they all take shelter.

Dawn of the Dead (2004) (remake: Part 2 of new trilogy)

Sure sure, the original 1978 version made zombies gorier, and technically 28 Days Later made them faster, but this version combines both elements and a hyper cast to bring both worlds together in a fast-paced, blood spattered way. AND it takes place in my hometown of Racine, WI!!!!! I’m serious!!!

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Considered a horror classic for a reason. Child molester and murderer Fred Krueger returns to haunt and kill teens in their dreams as revenge on the parents who burned him alive years earlier.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985)

Freddy returns to possess the body of an effeminate teen boy and kill his peers both in their dreams and in the real world.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

The “last” of the Elm Street children, whose parents torched Freddy, are locked in an asylum because their shared nightmares have driven them to drugs and suicide attempts. Only Nancy, the lone survivor of the original film, understands their dilemma and knows how to save them. Still a cool flick all around.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master (1988)

Freddy needs a new generation of teens to slaughter and finds his match in the mind of lonely and awkward Alice, who has been given the ability to pull other people into her dreams by the survivor of the previous film.

Wes Craven’s New Nightmare (1994) (Part 7)

Parts 5 & 6 really weren’t all that great, so skip ‘em and jump to this entirely original concept, wherein the actors and crew from the original film portray themselves as Freddy manifests himself in a new script by creator Wes Craven and intrudes their “real” world. The first half of the film is based on the true case of original star Heather Langenkamp’s stalking by a Freddy fan. The second half transitions into an Elm Street spectacle. Originated the concept of a film being aware of itself.

Paperhouse (1988)

Promoted as “the thinking man’s Nightmare on Elm Street.” Excellent British chiller follows a little girl who, in a fevered state, falls into dreams and nightmares where she meets her first love and tries to escape the image of her father that terrifies her. Hard to find but worth it.

Phantasm II (1988)

The 1979 is a bit too confusing for my tastes, but I LOVE this sequel. The first film’s hero tries to escape the clutches of a human-like alien who steals our corpses, brings them back to life, and forces them into slavery.

Poltergeist (1982)

Like a carnival fun ride come to life, a suburban family is terrorized by the undead who suck their 5 year old daughter into the netherworld through their TV set.

Prom Night (1980)

Mystery killer slaughters classmates on the anniversary of the death of a little girl... a death they caused.

Prom Night IV (1991)

Group of randy teens skip their school prom to party at a country home, unaware a psychotic priest is hell-bent on slaughtering sinning sex crazed teens. Doesn’t sound overly original, but it’s stylish, atmospheric and offers several genuine scares.

Psycho II (1982)

Yes, I left off the original, because I find it a bit too talky and not enough scary. But that’s not the case with this tight sequel, which offers a great mystery at its heart and some great jump-out-of-your seat moments.

Psycho IV (1990)

Norman Bates recalls his wicked childhood and how the evils of his mother’s dementia drove him to his murderous ways.

Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

A young woman slowly realizes she’s pregnant with Satan’s first born.

Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

Looney kid whose family was slaughtered on Christmas Eve10 years earlier snaps when he’s forced to wear a Santa suit. He kills everyone he considers should be on his naughty list for partaking in that evil sex-thing. Not really a good movie, but something about it’s more ridiculous moments has made me love it more with each passing year.

Sleepaway Camp II: Unhappy Campers (1988)

Part horror film, mostly intentional comedy sends up the slasher films of the early 80s as the killer from the first film undergoes a sex change and returns to chop up any teen who has sex, does drugs or misbehaves in any way. Sing that “Happy Camper” song.

The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)

Senior girls basketball team celebrate their final game with a sleepover party crashed by a maniac with cinema’s most phallic weapon. Tongue in cheek dark humor mixes with some gruesome moments, decent suspense and feminist rant.

Slumber Party Massacre II (1987)

One the survivors of the first film finds the killer reincarnated in her dreams as an evil rocker out to waste her hot lady friends.

Slumber Party Massacre III (1990)

All new girlie group are attacked by a maniac out to avenge his uncle’s suicide.

Squirm (1976)

An electrical storm drives flesh hungry worms out of southern soil and put the town under siege as they devour everyone in sight. Mildly based on a true story and uses real worms in its effects. Icky.

Terror in the Aisles (1984)

Delightful collection of film clips from over 75 of the most terrifying films ever made. Hosted by Halloween star Donald Pleasence and Carrie actress Nancy Allen.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

Based on the true story of Ed Gein, fellow Wisconsin native. Group of folks discover a farm run by a family of cannibals who plan to make a meal out of each of them. Possibly the most terrifying film I personally have ever seen.

Tourist Trap (1979)

Horrified me as a kid. Kinda hokey now, but still gives me chills at times. Stranded college friends discover an old tourist attraction filled with mannequins who come to life.

When A Stranger Calls (1979)

Babysitter is tormented by unrelenting phone calls by a sicko who claims he wants to bathe in her blood. The mid-section is a bit slow, but the first and last 15 minutes are easily among the most nail-biting put to film.

When A Stranger Calls Back (1993)

Woman tormented as a teen by an escaped mental patient now councils a college student being stalked for over 5 years by an unseen psycho who derives pleasure from his victim’s constant state of fear.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

SEQUELITIS: My Obsession With All New "Parts" and Roman Numerals

It's been a part of my psyche since I was a kid. I'd mentioned it a post or two ago, and said I'd come clean on it someday... Well - this is it. Today I confess, I am COMPLETELY obsessed with sequels. Part 2 - Part VIII... it doesn't matter. If it's a member of a franchise, regardless if it's related in any way to its previous installments, I need to see it....particularly horror.

I prefer to see sequels listed with roman numerals... II, III, IX. It's even better when it's listed as "PART (roman numeral)." FRIDAY THE 13TH - PART VIII. THE HILLS HAVE EYES - PART II.

It irritates me when a sequel pretends not to be a sequel. LEPRECHAUN IN SPACE (Part 4). HELLRAISER: HELLSEEKER (Part 6). URBAN LEGENDS (Part 2). If you're embarrassed about how long-in-the-tooth your franchise is (think WITCHCRAFT 13), or fear sales will diminish because you're series has forgotten where it began 3 or 4 sequels ago (ahem, FREDDY'S DEAD), then maybe the film shouldn't be made.

A few franchises who proudly wore their sequel #'s:

FRIDAY THE 13th (1- 10) (minus Part 9)
SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT (1 -5)
WITCHCRAFT (1 - 13)
SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE (1-3)
MANIAC COP (1-3)
VICE ACADEMY (1-8)
POLICE ACADEMY (1-6) (minus Part 7)
A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (1-5) (minus Parts 6 & 7)

So what is it about seeing a story wear thin or a continuous title that has no connection to previous installments that keeps me coming back for more?

MORE TO COME....

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Review: Trash-tastic 70s TV DAWN, ALEXANDER, BORN INNOCENT, SARAH T & BOY IN THE PLASTIC BUBBLE

TV movies of the 1970s have been legendary in my mind since I was old enough to know of their existence. I think my first official induction to the "Movie of the Week" (that's what they were called when we olden folks still only had three major networks and a few local channels to choose from) was the 1980 suspenser THE BABYSITTER. Watching Stephanie Zimbalist (REMINGTON STEEL), terrorize Quinn Cummings (FAMILY) and her parents Patty Duke (THE PATTY DUKE SHOW) and William Shatner (STAR TREK) terrified me, and made me seek out a plethora of other TV movie fodder in Chicago's WGN reruns like THE LEGEND OF LIZZIE BORDEN (1976), LOOK WHAT'S HAPPENED TO ROSEMARY'S BABY (1976), and even non-scary fare like MIRACLE ON 34th STREET (1973) and BILL (1981). Still, in my weekly checks of the TV guide, there were always 5 elusive titles: BORN INNOCENT (1974), SARAH T - PORTRAIT OF A TEENAGE ALCOHOLIC (1975), THE BOY IN THE PLASTIC BUBBLE (1976), DAWN (1976), ALEXANDER: THE OTHER SIDE OF DAWN (1977).

About 10 years ago I finally managed to snag 2 of these legendary "teens in trouble" flicks... the ultimate TV trashtastic BORN INNOCENT (in which 14-year-old Linda Blair goes to juvenile detention) and PLASTIC BUBBLE (starring newcomer John Travolta as a true-life teen allergic to everything in life and locked in an airtight chamber his entire life). Happily, both titles lived up to their reputations with effective stories and performances, bringing life and power to certain dramatic and shocking moments in each feature. So good, in fact, are the films, I actually felt they had been unfairly labeled as "trash"films. Certainly, one would assume (always a mistake) that the other3 films would live up to their own reputations...

With much thanks to a Facebook friend - Jason S - (no last name to protect him), bootlegged dvds of SARAH T, DAWN and ALEXANDER (a.k.a. DAWN 2) (plus some bonus film titled HITCHHIKER) showed up in my mailbox last week. Immediately into my player went DAWN, starring the original "Jan Brady" Eve Plumb desperately trying to shed her clean-teen image by traipsing around as a 15-year-old runaway turned into a prostitute (Hello... Elizabeth Berkley and SHOWGIRLS!!!!). Now, does that plug line scream FABULOUS!?!?!?! A Brady running away, getting raped, smacked around by her pimp, whoring herself for $20, and falling in love with her very gay roommate?! Come on! A dream cum true!

So I wrapped myself up in a blanket, squeezed into the corner of the couch, slapped the bowl of popcorn in my lap and put the 2 liter of club soda (yeah, diabetes sucks) within arms reach - all prepped for a raunchy, randy good time... Then the movie started...

It sucked. Oh my dear lord did it suck. Boring, some of the worst dialogue I have EVER heard (and I watch A LOT of crap), acting that was bordering on embarrassing, choppy editing, non-existent lighting, clumsy action, and unlikely/unrealistic scenarios - which I only point out because the movie is clearly styled as an extended PSA for teens not to run away from home. Well, put those jogging shoes on, because you'll need to run screaming from this lame-ass lecture. It should also be noted that this movie perpetuates the image that by simply putting on some blue eye shadow and your hair in a bun you too will become an instant slut. Dawn doesn't even wear sexy slut outfits when she's hooking on Hollywood Boulevard. Her 101 Dalmatians fur coat and JC Penney's boots are simply so.... unsexy... At over 100 minutes, DAWN feels like a long, torturous trip to the library with nothing to do but hope it ends soon and that our heroine REALLY gets her ass whooped by her pimp for being in such a stupid movie.

So... then I moved on to the sequel ALEXANDER, which rejoins Plumb with her gay roommate/love interest Alexander played sensitively by soap opera heart-throb Leigh McCloskey (GENERAL HOSPITAL's eeevvviiiilll Damien Price). Now, you may ask why I bothered. Three part answer: first, I felt I owed it to Jason S. for taking the time to send me the dvd. Second, I'm a sequel freak... always have been. I mean, I watched all the WITCHCRAFT sequels... or least the first 11, even though not a single one of them were good. If it has a predecessor, I'm intrigued. That'll have to be another blog in the future. Anyway, third, I was extremely curious about the prevalent gay theme claimed in the synopsis, and how the controversial subject was handled - and how it ever made it to major network television! - in the 1970s.

So, in went the dvd and, admittedly, it was a much better film than I'd anticipated. Not nearly as stereotypical in its portrayal of gay life and men, I found the story of Alexander (suddenly no longer gay - just has sex with men for money) and his gay-for-pay lover (a closeted pro-football player!) well played out and rather honest. Although there's no actual sex or bedroom-type scenes, their romantic activities are instead depicted by romping on the beach in skimpy bathing suits. But their discussions on life in closet, and the impression that maybe a purportedly "straight" man might fall in love with another man not because of a sudden sexual attraction but rather an emotional connection gets points for taping into the CRYING GAME vein in a more realistic way.

In fact, all said and done, I'd have to say my interest was much better held in place throughout this equally long movie. Less of a lecture than the original film, it's also much more professional on every level, including the actors. Plumb's "Dawn" character is shoved far into the background to focus on her dream-boy whom continues to claim he's coming to find her (and allows McCloskey to show he's a better actor). We even get an early cameo by then newcomer P.J. Soles (HALLOWEEN/CARRIE). Visually a much better looking film, even showing the scenes of Alex and his daddy in softer tones as their relationship deepens.

My only real complaints were the running time (again, about 20 minutes too long) and that story decision to say that Alex was straight to begin with. While it's never actually stated in DAWN that he's gay, his effeminate actions, refusal of Dawn's advances (which he does give into to get her to stay friends with him at the conclusion) and pretty blatant "social activities" were supposed to let viewers know which side of the rainbow he resided on. That's all tossed away at the beginning of the follow up. He claims to be only interested in girls, madly in love with Dawn and "resorts" back into hustling to pay his way after he can't pay his bills (mind you it's only 3 days after DAWN's conclusion). This is a HUGE plot whole in the character, as his entire purpose in the first film was to keep Dawn from doing the exact same thing. Still, it was nice to see Alex begin to question himself once his affair with the pro-player becomes more intimate -0 and unexpected jealousies arise. All-told, skip DAWN, and visit ALEXANDER.

So the score is 1-2. Recalling my love for BORN INNOCENT and what a superb job Linda Blair had done in portraying a runaway teen trying to escape an abusive, alcoholic father and mentally troubled mother, only to get tossed into an even worse situation by the juvenile system, my expectations reignited for her TV movie follow up SARAH T - PORTRAIT OF A TEENAGE ALCOHOLIC. Even more to my delight, the Universal Studios logo popped up, leading me to believe it certainly was at least going to be a higher-end feature. Then the PSA started...

Poor Sarah Travis (Blair - THE EXORCIST) is dealing with an overbearing mother (Verna Bloom - ANIMAL HOUSE), an absent father (Larry Hagman - DALLAS), a step-father who's trying too hard to both be her friend and authority figure (William Daniels - the voice of K.I.T.T. from KNIGHT RIDER!!!!), and a boyfriend (Mark Hamill - STAR WARS) who's wanted by all the other slutty girls at school. It's also apparently too much to handle when you're only 15, so poor Sarah turns to the hooch to relieve the pressure of just "being."

Another case of a film that goes on waaaaaaaay longer than it should, SARAH T's main problem is its inconsistent flow. In BORN INNOCENT, we see the progress of Blair's emotional breakdown... Point A to Point B to Point C. When SARAH T begins, our protagonist is already in the throws of alcoholism. How and why did she first pick up that bottle? Simple teenage curiosity? Hard-partying parents (which the opening scenes allude to), who only throw one party and have drinks one time throughout the entire film? We do know that she sees booze as her liquid courage in an effective scene where she reveals a very pretty singing voice to a group of classmates after she's downed two bottles of vodka. Unfortunately there aren't enough of those scenes.

Similar to DAWN, SARAH T spends too much of its time pointing its finger at you rather than concentrating on telling you her personal story. She also doesn't seem like an alcoholic. If somebody sneezes the wrong way, she drinks. She shows up at an AA meeting with a bottle of booze. And she never likes the taste. She cringes every time she swallows. It also seems she only reaches for the bottle to shock - but really because there's been too much down time of blah blah blah. She becomes desperate enough to drink that she agrees to group sex with some unknown boys if they'll buy her a bottle. By 1970s standards this and a few other moments seem to have been shock worthy, but the story and editing are conceived in such a choppy manner, they don't really resonate anymore. Now they're just overly dramatic, and not in a fun, campy sort of way.

The acting is okay, and Blair is likable, but the character just isn't deep enough for us to care. The film finally comes to life emotionally at the end when her family finally confronts her issues and she runs off - feeling abandoned again by her father - only to kill her favorite riding horse in her latest drunken stupor. It's a shame, though, that these moments of effective tear-jerking are followed almost immediately by the closing credits. Consequences of your actions should have been dealt with earlier on rather than piling them all into the fleeting final minutes. (I should note there is one other effective moment at the halfway point when a loving maid is fired after being accused of the drinking all the booze in the house and Sarah refuses to tell the truth to save the woman's job.)

This film does have more of a heart than DAWN, and it's not a complete waste of time, but a stronger story and better editing would have earned it - like its counterparts - the reputation it sadly doesn't live up to. Seek out BORN INNOCENT and BOY IN THE PLASTIC BUBBLE to see how TV trash can be done right: effective, emotional, fun, scary, and long lasting.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Review: Little Darlings (1980)


It seems each generation looks back at their tender years as "simpler" times. Even when I was a kid, unjaded and not-yet-broken by the world, my parents and grandparents always spoke highly of how much better humanity was in their younger eras. Meanwhile, they were all convinced the world had gone to Hell. Funny, then, that I should look at my tender years (approximately 1976 - 1994 before reality truly set in) and think the same way. So I have to then pose the question: Is every generation naive to an extent? Better yet, at what age does a child/teenager truly come of age?

Based on the slew of 1980s teen films addressing the subject, Gen X hit puberty full-force around age 15. Loves gained and lost, dreams realized, hormones in full-force. However, while the bulk of these adventures had some gimmick which generally focused on the males attempts to get laid, 1980's LITTLE DARLINGS focused on the girls' point of view, with so much more to consider what it was truly like to be in a woman's body, yet still have the heart of a girl. Sexuality, friendship, first love, turbulent homes, classicism, jealousy, and, yes, at its center: loss of virginity.

Teen queens Kristy McNichol (as burn out "Angel") and Tatum O'Neal (as rich & prissy "Ferris") are polar opposites in social status and instantly dislike each other when they're forced to bunk together at summer camp. Each, however, have one major similarity: both are virgins. Trying to win friendship among their peers (including 12 year old Cynthia Nixon from SEX &THE CITY, Matt Dillon in his first film role, and the late Alexa Kenin from PRETTY IN PINK), each girl agrees to get her cherry popped before summer's end. The winner gets a bunch of cash and a lifetime of regret, while the other will be shunned, because - as the other girls proclaim - everyone else has already done "it."

Now, while this description would make it seem like any other cheap excuse for girls to pop their tops and sexual hi jinks to ensue, LITTLE DARLINGS (written with great sensitivity by Kimi Peck and Dalene Young) is a true drama at heart. Each girl, for better or worse, learns romance doesn't work like the novels tell you it does, that they have A LOT more growing up to do, and that simply having sex does not make you an adult. The movie hits it home - without shoving it down your throat - that there is no definitive line between holding onto your innocence and giving yourself over to the world. It's a process of good and bad experiences, mistakes and revelations. Being a teen can be truly scary, but it can also be the time when those last fleeting days of innocence allows you to enjoy the simplicity of food fights and midnight chats with your girlfriends.

While all of the girls are charming and display a specific personality (the hippie, the bookworm, the bitch, the fat girl, the nerd, the child wanting desperately to be a teen), O'Neal and especially McNichol easily steal the show. O'Neal is virgin white as a spoiled rich girl who knows how to dress and speak like a true romantic, when we learn she really knows nothing about sex or relationships. McNichol, on the other hand, has the heavier role. She masters her portrayal of a tough street girl from a bad neighborhood whose tough exterior melts away to expose a scared little darling not ready for what's been put in her lap.

A few late 70s touches (one scene resembles a "mom, have you ever felt...unfresh?" commercial, while another has teen girls dressed up as cutsie animals and singing lame songs which aren't age appropriate) may make 2010 teens giggle... or yawn. Yet overall this charming, if occasionally naughty, flick does an excellent job telling girls how serious - and not necessarily positive - having sex can be, without trying to scare them. It may even evoke a tear or two...FOOTNOTE: A remake has just been announced for 2011.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Cutting The Remake Trend Some Slack...



Okay. I'm not much a fan of remakes. The trend which sadly began with the PSYCHO remake in 1998 and catapulted the horror genre into the dedicated horror fanatic's worst dream with the admittedly awesome 2003 version of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. I was first in line to decry every announcement of the plethora of "re-imaginings" hitting cinemas (and quickly into the direct-to-DVD market... hello APRIL FOOL'S DAY and DAY OF THE DEAD). The horror fan's animosity has been re-affirmed time and again with some serious suck-ass new versions of BLACK CHRISTMAS, FRIDAY THE 13th, and the incredibly lame PROM NIGHT. After a recent conversation with an actor/friend on this very subject, however, I found myself arguing in, if not favor, at least the defense of the remake... I was aghast myself, but here's a few reasons why we should all stop bitching about them...

The remake is nothing new to the film industry. An original version of THE WIZARD OF OZ was made in 1910, before being made again in 1914, 1925 and the 1939 version we all know and love. And those still aren't all! If you include TV remakes, cartoon versions and variations, imdb lists at least 43 freakin' versions!!! The same goes for A CHRISTMAS CAROL (52 versions), DRACULA (19 versions), FRANKENSTEIN (16 versions)... and these are just the remakes that actually contain the same title... imagine all the takes which took the story and simply slapped an alternate title to make it seem fresh.

Remember your parents bitching about our "new" movies ripping off their flicks? How their versions were so much scarier (they really weren't)? Gen X grew up on a plethora of remakes - and fairly decent ones at that - of our parents films... THE BLOB (1958/1988), THE FLY (1958/1986), NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD (1968/1990), THE PIT & THE PENDULUM (1961/1991), THE BAD SEED (1956/1985), LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS (1960/1986), and the double remake INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1956/1978/1993). Many of them were actually rip-offs of our parents TWILIGHT ZONE episodes including killer mannequins (TOURIST TRAP - 1979), and battery operated grandmas (THE ELECTRIC GRANDMOTHER - 1982) -- not to mention 1983's TWILGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE.

Well, kids, we are now the parents. Sad as it may be, I did the math and if I'd married and had a child right out of high school, said brat would now be 19 years old. The fact of the matter is that the bulk of horror films are made for 15 year olds. I'd like to think the horror genre is as loyal to me as I am to it, but the truth is people my age - and this is mass audience I'm talking about - don't go to see horror films. Our home lives and dealing with jobs, children and recessions is terrifying enough. We might be willing to catch it on TV in a few down moments, but over-all we're giving our kids $10 to go get out of our balding hairs.

This also moves into why a FRIDAY THE 13TH, PART XII or A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 8, or SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 6 are likely never going to get made. Aside from the arguable concept our favorite franchises have essentially run out of steam and story ideas, we, the Gen Xers, are not going to pay to see these titles at the theater (again, we're talking mass audience - not devotees). Our kids won't go either: they have been raised in a world of RIGHT NOW. If anything is more than 5 years ago, it may as well have been made in 1910. It shocked me as well, but all of my cousins who were under age 25 in 2003 had never seen the original TEXAS CHAINSAW or DAWN OF THE DEAD... and didn't really care to. Worse yet, they didn't know MY BLOODY VALENTINE, BLACK CHRISTMAS, THE FOG, PROM NIGHT, et al even existed in original forms. Sad, but true. So, if you're a producer looking to make more money off a proven product of the past to a mass audience of 15 year olds, are you going to take a chance on PART 23, or go back and try to present it as something entirely new and in the moment to oblivious kids with cash to burn?

I am the first to proclaim "the original is so much better," mainly because our films had characters with an ounce of enthusiasm and charisma. Just compare A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET's 1984 ass-kicking and booby-trap loving heroine Nancy to her whiny, depressed "artistic" 2010 counterpart. But I've accepted that the 2010 Freddy was not meant to scare me. He already did 26 years ago.

At the end of the day, movies are a business. We, the fans, love them. We dedicate ourselves to keeping their memories, their existence alive. The characters in them are like friends we get to revisit anytime we want on DVD or download. But we did not create them. They are not our babies raised from birth. They were born to people with $$ in their eyes and hearts. That's what speaks to them. And until remakes no longer make them $$, and audiences stop going because there is no character or actual story development, then they will continue to go into production (hello PET SEMATARY, THE BIRDS...). So your duty is to accept that you can't stop it, so just take the younger generation and explain something much better, with more bloody heart, exists. The remake may suck, but at least it opens the possibility to our favorite gems being rediscovered.

A FEW REMAKES WORTH YOUR TIME:
THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974/2003)
THE HILLS HAVE EYES (1977/2006)
INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1956/78/93)
THE BLOB (1958/88)
THE FLY (1958/86)
HALLOWEEN (1978/2007 - The first half of the remake, not the second)
DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978/2004)
LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS (1960/1986)
FRANKENSTEIN (1931/94)
DRACULA (1931/92)
THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT (1972/2009)
HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (1959/99)

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

That Indie Spirit!!!



Looking at these pictures, it seems a horror movie had a bloody orgasm all over my face. Yes, my indie spirit was renewed this past weekend as I played the role of kind- hearted punk "Matthew," doomed to have dirt crammed down his throat and his head kicked in by an incestuous brother/sister duo in Cory J. Udler's INCEST DEATH SQUAD 2... yes, Part 2. Even with a resume containing such eye catching titles as HELL ASYLUM, BAD MOVIE POLICE, and DEADLY STINGERS, I'd put money down betting this title is going to be the one everyone raises an eyebrow to. So why would I attach myself to something of this nature?

Indie spirit, baby! There's nothing quite like it. A (usually) young group of passionate filmmakers pulling together their limited resources and friends to unite in one simple goal... make a movie. There's little money involved - neither in making the feature, nor once it's been released to the public. Just that element of satisfaction that you had a group of people get behind you and create a story. Even if only 100 people ever see the damned thing, you've seriously accomplished something.

Now, when I say "Indie Spirit," I'm not talking movies even at the level of being produced by "indie" studios like Full Moon, Concorde, Troma, et al. These thriving creators don't have any sort of studio behind them. The director is usually the guy who works a full-time day job and is pouring every extra cent he can muster up into the minimal budget. Said monies don't go to the cast and crew - those dedicated folks work for free. Paying for locations and lawyers and big craft service (food) tables? Nope. The cash generally flows into the make up FX and occasionally the wardrobe, unless the cast is (preferably) willing to wear their own clothes they don't mind possibly getting soaked in gore. Filming takes FOREVER - not days or even weeks. It's more like filming what you can with who you can on weekends for the better part of a year, or longer. (Mike & Amy Watt of Happy Cloud Pictures spent the better part of this past decade completing their zombie flick THE RESURRECTION GAME.)

Making movies at this level is about true dedication. There is often a stigma about movies at this no-budget level. Poor acting, writing, production appearance, FX, editing, sound effects... Usually you'll hear critics, and viewers, bitch that the film "looked like it was shot in someones backyard." Well, yeah, it was... but to that I say "Did YOU give up 52 weekends of drinking and laying on your fat ass watching reality TV to pull together an actual movie?" Whether the product turned out watchable isn't the issue. It's all about the effort put forth by a tiny band of thieves to make one particular person's dream come to life. These productions are about friendship and love, because the people in front of the camera and lending their time behind it often aren't film professionals in any way. They're simply excited to see a friend succeed and maybe have something to show the grandkids 40 years from now... to have the novelty of saying "I was in a movie."

INCEST DEATH SQUAD 2 is the ideal example of this. Obviously I can't say if the movie is watchable at this point... it's not even done filming yet. But I knew going in this was something from Udler's heart. I arrived to find his crew consisted of himself (directing and operating the camera) and Annie Cliff (FX girl and boom mic operator). The fact that a boom microphone existed at all on the production threw me! So I knew Udler at least had and knows how to operate film equipment. The wonderful actors, Greg Johnson and Carmela Wiese (a.k.a. the incestuous killers) aren't actors by trade... Carmela is into holistic medicine. I'm not sure what Greg does, but I'm pretty sure killing people onscreen isn't in his daily routine. But as Carmela stripped down on camera right on a public road (with cars going bye every few minutes), I knew she was game. I joined right in. I was grabbed by the hair, had "mud" (i.e. some very tasty brownies) crammed in my mouth, was tossed to the ground, and "kicked" in the head repeatedly. My pants got muddy, I landed in a rose bush (resulting in some pretty irritating scrapes on my arms and near my right eye), had grass stuck in my teeth, bugs tormented me, and the fake blood SERIOUSLY burned my eyes. You know what? I LOVED every second of it.

There is such an energy to doing this sort of thing... being a part of something that so many believe in. My part of the shoot lasted just about 2 hours, and it seemed like 15 minutes. I didn't want it to end. While it may seem insignificant, I should note that when I left that morning for my two-hour drive to Evansville, WI for the shoot, my Diabetes blood sugar count was at an unhealthy 298. I ate a bad lunch (McDonalds) and had a HUGE dinner (steak, pasta), yet my numbers later read 186... now THAT shows a day of high energy and healthy movement.

Shooting IDS 2 also made me remember, and respect, where I came from. The productions I typically work on these days have investors, budgets, crews, a post crew and professional actors. That's not where I started out though. My days making movies for Moore Video (MARK OF THE DEVIL 666, 5 DARK SOULS, 5 DARK SOULS - PART II) were exactly the same kind of productions. Paying it back (or would that be forward?) for all the help and dedication I received from my own friends in the mid-90s to give up their free time to assist me in achieving my dream - that joined with that hunger and need for the kind of energy you find on a film set of any budget level was my main reason for being a part of this production.

It's that natural instinct, that Spirit I was born with, that feeds my passion to tell a story (or be a part of someone else's) and bring anyone else interested along for the ride.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

What I Love About HorrorHound Magazine



About 2 years ago I came across a most magnificent little tome on the shelves of my local bookstore. HORRORHOUND magazine (full color, approx. 64 pages) made my eyes light up the same way FANGORIA forever changed my gore-soaked eyes back in 1989. While I will always be most loyal to the mag which formed, guided and wickedly enhanced my tastes for horror forever, HORRORHOUND has quickly become my naughty little mistress.

The key to HorrorHound's niche is that it appeals directly to my generation the same way Scarlett Street retrospected all of my parents fright flicks for modern times. At the same time, it's information and photo packed pages drag you right back to all the graphically orgasmic horror mags of the mid-late 80s, and still manages to draw the attention of today's jaded teens and their internet damped eyes. Cover stories and extremely detailed retros on such original fan-favorites as Friday the 13th, Halloween, Salem's Lot, Pumpkinhead, Child's Play, The Exorcist and even Michael Jackson's Thriller are promoted with the same respect as though the films are just now being released.

To further grab your attention are "Fun Facts" and "Did you know?" bits of fandom Q&A lining the bottom of every single page... seemingly useless details to the untrained eye, but knowledge being absorbed like UV rays by any true fan of freakishness. While there's also fresh interviews and news on upcoming theatrical releases for "new" product (i.e. lame remakes), there are much more gruesomely delicious bits on horror comix, model kits, video games, toys, conventions, and DVD releases of our fave films of yesteryear. Even the ads filling quarter pages jump out and beat you over your bludgeoned noggin. I have to say, however, there are two specific regular pieces I automatically flip to...

First up is "The Video Invasion," a typically 3-4 page breakdown of the vaults of long-forgotten and defunct VHS distributors such as Wizard, Camp, Vestron, Gorgon, et al. Each page is gore-iously designed with the company's complete collection of VHS box art, and whether or not the title came in the traditional (i.e. more common) VHS sleeve or the giant clam shell (most often remembered as the size of 80s porn VHS box covers). Additional promotional materials (such as the light-up posters of A Nightmare on Elm Street 3 & 4 and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 released by Media Home Entertainment) are also displayed with a loving touch. Imagine the hunt these collectors must dedicate themselves to in order to hunt down the eBay bound items.

Second, and probably because it gives me the same soothing sensation and excitement as those People magazine "Where are they now?" stories, I savor "Horror's Hallowed Grounds." Pictures taken directly from the film are matched up to pictures taken today by a devoted fan hungry enough to hunt down original filming locations in random towns across the nation! Anyone willing to put forth that kind of effort (squinting their eyes til they bleed at the TV screen to try and pick up addresses on homes and rusted street signs to identify possible landmarks) wins my vote for "most devoted." There's simply something so fascinating - at least to me - about how people and places have aged over the years.

What I love most about HorrorHound magazine, though, is just how much fun its staff seems to have in creating it. The writing is enjoyable, easy to consume and typically to the point. The layouts are playful and filled with photos of varying sizes meant to squeeze in as many as possible. It's clear from front to back that this mag is made entirely by fans for fans, bringing long-lost and forgotten titles of my youth back to life. Thank you, HorrorHound, for bringing me back to my childhood and making me a fan again, remembering why this genre consumed me in the first place.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Why I Worship at the altar of J.R. Bookwalter


A happy thing showed up in my mailbox the other day... my final paycheck from Shout! Factory for the SLEEPLESS NIGHTS documentary I recently directed for them. Last night, as I shared my joy (and bought some cocktails) with friends and family, I realized that having received that check was more than just thanks for a job well done. I was happy that the check had been received at all.

Last week, I had dinner with my dear friend, actress Tina Ona Paukstelis (ASWANG). After bitching to her about all the money I haven't received for past productions, she commented "You just keep getting ripped off, don't you?!" Tina has known me from college through my entire professional career. And she's right. I received one royalty check (a small one, I might add), for the films I did for Moore Video back in the 90s, even though they continued to sell copies after that. I sold a bulk of my movies to a distributor in the late 90s... never got my payment. Throughout the early/mid-2000's, I published dozens of articles. For one particular magazine, I'm still owed nearly $3,000. More recently, I'm over a full year past getting paid for NOVEMBER SON (2008) by distributor Ariztical. Looking back, one of the few people I have been able to trust in this industry, is my friend, mentor, distributor J.R. Bookwalter.

Bookwalter, like myself, has spent his career striving to be the best in low-budget cinema. He gained notoriety for directing the cult-classic zombie flick THE DEAD NEXT DOOR back in 1985 at the tender age of 18. (It's a poorly kept secret the film was financed by none other than Sam Raimi of THE EVIL DEAD and SPIDER-MAN fame.) Forming his own indie production /distribution company Tempe Entertainment / Tempe Video and the magazine "The B's Nest" (later remonikered "Alternative Cinema") in the late 80s, Bookwalter quickly became the demi-god to all kids who wanted to pick up their dad's camcorder and make a movie for $100.

Understanding that all-consuming need to make cinema, Bookwalter was among the first to take other people's homegrown products and put them out onto the market. Initially through his zines and mailings, then through the internet. He promoted those titles with all the gusto and pride of a proud papa and his newborn baby. Even when the movies sucked (some so poorly you could smell their rott), he stood behind them. He has treated his directors, casts, and crews with such respect its remains a difficult task to find anyone with nary a bitter word about the man.

After actress Brinke Stevens (whom I also owe my career to) introduced me to Bookwalter at one of her famous back-yard BBQs, Bookwalter took many more steps than he needed to in introducing me to David DeCoteau. His efforts resulted in many years of work with the cult director and inspired me to direct my own short film, JULIA WEPT (2000). The idea was to create a feature to get additional work from other producers. The first person to hire me? J.R. Bookwalter.

SOMETHING TO SCREAM ABOUT
beget a series of wonderful working experiences with Bookwalter and his associates. Taking on various roles in front of and behind the camera, productions such as HELL ASYLUM, DEADLY STINGERS, and the BAD MOVIE POLICE franchise quickly filled my resume. He stood behind me on OCTOBER MOON - an item no one else wanted to touch because of its combo gay/thriller-theme. Nobody else was making films like this at the time, and while every other producer I approached ran screaming, Bookwalter felt I had something special.

Even though he's long referred to me as a publicity whore (a title I wear loud and proud), Bookwalter has had my back more than anyone else in the industry. He's attempted to steer me down the right avenues (even though I don't always listen), gotten me in touch with many other folks who would lead to additional film and journalism work, and always been honest and right -on-time with statements and payments. When money was lost in a bankruptcy scenario with a joint distribution company, Bookwalter was direct up front and has proven his worth in trying to earn the money back. He has forewarned me of the highs and lows of the business, respected with great intent my "coming out" and domestic partnership (though I'm still waiting for that wedding gift), and even honored me with being the godfather of his handsome little fella, Benji.

So why do I worship at the altar of J.R. Bookwalter? Simply put, he's a kick-ass guy, a great trustworthy friend, and has long offered the guiding hand of a big brother. Get to know him, and his work.